From sceptic to Believer: How Coaching Leads to Creating your Life

I recently re-read (and as a result, re-published) a blog that I wrote three years ago.

While I am proud of the writing, of the honesty and authenticity behind the post, how it emitted the emotions that I was feeling not just in that moment, but overtime in my corporate career, it brought up an interesting point of reflection:

When I wrote it, I hadn’t yet worked with a coach. 

While writing allowed me to explore who I was and to express myself, at the time I had only tapped into a small part of my potential. There was still a part of me that was holding back, that was unsure of how to stay connected to myself, to my creativity, to my contribution. At the time, I was showing up most days simply going through the motions and wondering if maybe, hopefully, at some point it would all lead somewhere. That ultimately, I would escape the continuous loop that I had found myself in. I felt that regardless of my efforts at work and in life, I was always returning to where I started.

There had to be a better way.  

And so I hired a coach. 

I was super skeptical, especially of the jargon: “removing blockers”, “limiting beliefs” and “how to get out of your own way”. Further, what did it mean to “create your life”?  

I had no clue that understanding yourself better can unlock so much, give you so much, and open up the space to own who you are and to stand in your authenticity. I learned that when you understand what’s important to you, what lights you up, what strengths you have, you can grow and expand rather than feeling like you’re always behind and falling into the subsequent trap of comparison.

I couldn’t believe that instead of focusing on strengthening my weaknesses, I could shift my focus to what was good:

On my strengths and what comes easily and naturally to me. It was one of the biggest mindset shifts that led to transformation in my work and in my life. In fact, it’s a place where I spend lots of time with my clients. 

Even this concept of mindset was foreign to me at the time. I had followed the unwritten rules of corporate up until then: You go to work, put in the time, hustle and grind, and when you get the job done, you get rewarded for it. I was absolutely living into the corporate mantra of input equals output. This idea of work-life balance was floating around, but it never really felt like it fit.

Why did we have to keep putting work and life into separate buckets?

After all, I was one human being. 

And this is where coaching opened my eyes again: I learned that I could be all parts of me all of the time.

By owning who you are and being integrated in all parts of you, you are liberated and truly amazing things can happen as a result.

When you take responsibility for your actions, you understand the sense of agency you hold over your life: that you get to choose to be happy, you get to choose to be successful, you get to choose to be loving and caring and as a result, you see all of that come to you because of your focus on it. 

This is what it means to be in the creation of or creating of your life. I always believed creativity lived in a bucket for artists and entertainers, but coaching provided me with the understanding that I had everything inside me I needed and gave me the tools so that I could bring what I wanted to life.

Coaching taught me that I could stand in creation of what I wanted.

To take ownership over what was happening and responsibility of my circumstances.

This is not about control; control is a fallacy.

It’s something that keeps our ego feeling safe; let it go, because at the end of the day focusing on control diminishes everything else. 

When you can relinquish control and instead focus on creation, you have shifted away from reacting to your life and towards creating your life.

When we understand that we have the power to create, the fear starts to dissipate and disappear and anything is possible.

I grew up hearing at every stage of my life “You can do anything you put your mind to”. In being coached and coaching, I have learned the practices, principles, and tools to embody this statement. I have witnessed the power of our minds. And when we have someone to help us work through our thinking, reflect it back to us, and expose our blindspots, we can make a better life, a better community, and a better world.

Ready to explore what coaching can do for you? Let’s have a conversation.

Kirsten Schmidtke is a professional coach, speaker, and lover of lake life. She works with leaders, creators, and entrepreneurs to help them up-level their careers, businesses, and lives. Are you ready to explore what’s possible for you? Contact Kirsten to start the conversation!